Warning: Indelicate

Trashcan This is a delicate matter and perhaps not something I should be blogging about at all. It is said among my dog loving friends that you can tell a true dog person by their willingness to discuss indelicate matters such as dog vomit and feces. This is something else all together. Yet, it has gotten to the point where I just need to share. I have told you all about Waffles penchant of knocking over trashcans, what I have not revealed is her motivation. Waffles is an addict and the source of her habit is her dependency on sanitary napkins and panty liners. New or used, she doesn’t care! She came to me with this foul addiction and although I have tried everything to break her of it, she still rises each morning and diligently knocks over each can like a string of dominoes in hopes of discovering a reward. If she cannot find her prize, she makes herself content with Kleenex, cotton swabs or dental floss, but this is not what she desires.

Granted, some dogs eat their own waste and roll in whatever disgusting thing they can find, so in the scheme of things, Waffles’ addiction may not be the worst there is, but it is still pretty bad. And, there is no Al-Anon or its equivalent to help family members cope, so I’ve been bearing this burden in silence. But now, with Alfie in season, our family secret has gotten to be too much. In order to keep from soiling the bedcovers, sofa and chairs, Alfie sports a colorful pair of panties, complete with neck strap, so it won’t slide off. You slip a panty liner inside and swap it as needed, just as any woman must during this time.

You can see the problem already can’t you? This is just too much temptation for Waffles – there it is, the object of her desire right inside Alfie’s pants. And, of course, the trashcans are filling up as well. It’s a virtual smorgasbord and my little addict is going crazy. We have already bungee corded the trash can in the kitchen to keep it from toppling, but that doesn’t prevent Waffles from standing on her tip toes and scratching away until she reaches something on top. The bathroom? Forget about it. I’m not sure when she does it, but every time I visit, there is already a trail of trash spread to the door and if you’re not quick, you’ll find her munching and licking away at her most coveted possession. I’m sorry if this tale disgusts you, it is not for the feint of heart, but my family unit may be in dire need of an intervention and at the very least this pug mama could use some support.