It was scary opening my heart up to another pug after first losing Buffy and Mira so quickly on her heels. Now two years later Vader passed away at 14 and I have decided to add Waffles to my clan.
It is also a scary decision. For so long it seemed like it was just Buffy, Vader and me -- my shadow and my Little Man. Buffy worshipped me, Vader was the Man and I moved forward as if they were always going to be there. Mira offered new hope, Alfie a second chance at that and soon t here will be Waffles.
I almost adopted her two years ago right after I brought Alfie home, but with a new puppy already in hand an older dog getting older, it didn't seem the right time to add another to the mix. As time passed, I thought of her more and more as my friend Joan's dog. I expected when Vader died to add another male pug to the family.
Then shortly after Vader died, Alfie and I went to visit Joan and out darted Waffles straight into the open door of my car. She climbed up in Alfie's car seat and looked out the window as if to say, "Okay, when are we going?" I had to laugh and from that time on I began to open my heart to her again.
But I have to admit I've still been scared. Alfie has become my constant companion, sticking even closer to me perhaps than Buffy, my former "glue" dog ever had. I worry will Waffi upset this? Will I have room in my heart for two of them? I've always taken in my dogs as puppies. What will it be like to take home this grown up girl?
I'm not sure what's really at the heart of all my worries. Perhaps part of it has to do with the fact that I do not live in a house alone and every decision I make to get a dog must take into account how it will affect others or at the very least their reactions to it. Perhaps it is because Joan has become attached to Waffi and is hesitant to give her up. Maybe I don't want to get my hopes up until I am sure she will be mine.
I think most of it, however, may have to do with the fact that I have learned, as every dog lover must, that there is no endless, happy expanse of time with these creatures and that once you do embrace them, no matter what, the time will be too short.